Dictionary.com defines friend as "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. Also, a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile." 
A friend called me this week...someone I've known for over 20 years.We haven't talked much over the last 10 years. The last time she came to see me, she needed to tell me, before she left, that she had a terrible time and didn't like my new friends. I felt badly at the time, like somehow I had let this person down.
As I thought it through later, I honestly think I included them at the same "level" as my other friends that were there (the event that drew us all together was my son's HS graduation). I know that this person needs more positive affirmation than most, but does their need imply that I must be the one to meet it? Is there any responsibility for them to moderate their response? 
I could not imagine telling a friend the things that were said to me ~ sometimes this person would tell me things that other people had said or "done" to her, and how it made her feel, but then say/do the exact same things to me! I attributed it to her own issues. I would talk myself out of hurt feelings.  Sometimes I think it is a friends job to say the hard things, but I think that means saying what needs to be said to protect them from a bad decision, or danger. Does my lack of need/desire to be painfully honest with my friends mean I'm not "real" enough with them? My friend hurt my feelings, and I felt blind sided by her comments but didn't want to admit it. I have no desire to perpetuate that behavior, but knowing her "issues" do I need to tell her how she hurt my feelings? Or is that now "water under the bridge"? I do still have feelings of affection for her~ personal regard, she is my friend, but I cannot trust her with my feelings. Maybe that is the answer, I am wiser now, I will be more careful. I can forgive, but I can still respond cautiously ~ I don't see the word "caution" in the definition of friend...