Friday, July 6, 2012
Dictionary.com defines friend as "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. Also, a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile."
A friend called me this week...someone I've known for over 20 years.We haven't talked much over the last 10 years. The last time she came to see me, she needed to tell me, before she left, that she had a terrible time and didn't like my new friends. I felt badly at the time, like somehow I had let this person down.
As I thought it through later, I honestly think I included them at the same "level" as my other friends that were there (the event that drew us all together was my son's HS graduation). I know that this person needs more positive affirmation than most, but does their need imply that I must be the one to meet it? Is there any responsibility for them to moderate their response?
I could not imagine telling a friend the things that were said to me ~ sometimes this person would tell me things that other people had said or "done" to her, and how it made her feel, but then say/do the exact same things to me! I attributed it to her own issues. I would talk myself out of hurt feelings. Sometimes I think it is a friends job to say the hard things, but I think that means saying what needs to be said to protect them from a bad decision, or danger. Does my lack of need/desire to be painfully honest with my friends mean I'm not "real" enough with them? My friend hurt my feelings, and I felt blind sided by her comments but didn't want to admit it. I have no desire to perpetuate that behavior, but knowing her "issues" do I need to tell her how she hurt my feelings? Or is that now "water under the bridge"? I do still have feelings of affection for her~ personal regard, she is my friend, but I cannot trust her with my feelings. Maybe that is the answer, I am wiser now, I will be more careful. I can forgive, but I can still respond cautiously ~ I don't see the word "caution" in the definition of friend...
This is an experiment, I think the idea of a blog is...fun (voice intonation here is question-like)?!? But I don't know for sure if:
A. I have the time to do something like this and
B. If I have anything worth saying (that anyone would be interested in reading)
However... in my head are a lifetime (now defined as a LOOOOONG time) of experiences ~ many of them funny ~ at least from my point of view! When I was a kid, and I said something was funny, my grandfather would ask me, "is it funny ha ha or funny peculiar?" I think the experiences I recall fall into both categories ~ some are ha ha, some are peculiar. They're probably not so different from the millions of experiences of millions of others (I think it was soloman who said "there is nothing new under the sun") but maybe they'll foster a chuckle of recognition or agreement, or at least a sympathetic grin, or perhaps they'll inspire a response, a communication, but whatever, I will take this opportunity to write, and see what develops...
So why the title? Well, I live in the Central Valley of California, and it tends to get warm here...some might even say hot! During my son's last visit it actually reached 109 degrees ~ that "officially" qualifies as HOT (if the local news and weather people identify it as hot, then it's official)! In keeping with the family flare (no pun intended!) for dramatic language, he remarked that it was so uncomfortably hot that it was as if we lived on the surface of the sun (baby!). I love the heat (although 109 is a bit much even for me!) but we have air conditioning...so there is a way to escape. Anyway, back to the title...it is the background and location from which I write, although many entries will be from stories and experiences that took place in other places...Kodiak, Alaska, Pullman or Prosser Washington, Stockton, CA, or Santa Rosa, CA.... and maybe over time some memories will have morphed (for better or for worse!) for now, here on the surface of the sun, I will begin the process of transcribing life...one thought, one memory, one story at a time...
A. I have the time to do something like this and
B. If I have anything worth saying (that anyone would be interested in reading)
However... in my head are a lifetime (now defined as a LOOOOONG time) of experiences ~ many of them funny ~ at least from my point of view! When I was a kid, and I said something was funny, my grandfather would ask me, "is it funny ha ha or funny peculiar?" I think the experiences I recall fall into both categories ~ some are ha ha, some are peculiar. They're probably not so different from the millions of experiences of millions of others (I think it was soloman who said "there is nothing new under the sun") but maybe they'll foster a chuckle of recognition or agreement, or at least a sympathetic grin, or perhaps they'll inspire a response, a communication, but whatever, I will take this opportunity to write, and see what develops...
So why the title? Well, I live in the Central Valley of California, and it tends to get warm here...some might even say hot! During my son's last visit it actually reached 109 degrees ~ that "officially" qualifies as HOT (if the local news and weather people identify it as hot, then it's official)! In keeping with the family flare (no pun intended!) for dramatic language, he remarked that it was so uncomfortably hot that it was as if we lived on the surface of the sun (baby!). I love the heat (although 109 is a bit much even for me!) but we have air conditioning...so there is a way to escape. Anyway, back to the title...it is the background and location from which I write, although many entries will be from stories and experiences that took place in other places...Kodiak, Alaska, Pullman or Prosser Washington, Stockton, CA, or Santa Rosa, CA.... and maybe over time some memories will have morphed (for better or for worse!) for now, here on the surface of the sun, I will begin the process of transcribing life...one thought, one memory, one story at a time...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)